Rejection is just part and parcel of being a writer, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier to bear. From short stories that fail to win competitions to novels that agents discard, rejection can feel demotivating and deeply personal.
Nobody likes to think the work they’ve slaved over for months or even years isn’t wanted by the rest of the world. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but there are ways of putting a positive spin on the rejection letters or the complete silence when your work falls flat.
Reframe the rejection
One of the best ways to handle rejection is by reframing it. Instead of wallowing in self-pity or dramatically vowing never to write again, think of this as an opportunity to learn. Gather your thoughts, reassess your work and decide what needs to change.
If you can’t see the necessary changes for yourself, then consider getting beta readers to take another look at it, or hire an editor to suggest ways to strengthen your manuscript. By turning rejection into a positive experience and a catalyst for growth as a writer, you take some of the sting out of it.
Reward yourself for it
It might sound off, rewarding yourself for rejection, but it can help. Rejection is demotivating, and what you really need right now is a pick-me-up. Sit down and draw up a plan of action, or a road map for how you will get your writing back on course. Set some milestones you need to hit on the way to improving your manuscript and some rewards you will give yourself for reaching them.
Those rewards could be as simple as watching an episode of your favourite boxset when you reach your daily word count, or as extravagant as a weekend away when you finish another round of edits. The rewards don’t have to break the bank or cost anything at all, they’re simply a way of getting you back on the horse after a nasty fall.
Take a break
Sometimes, if you really can’t find that motivation, you just have to be kind to yourself and take a break. Not writing every day isn’t a failure. You maybe just need a little more time to process the rejection and work out in your own mind how you want to proceed.
Taking a break also puts some distance between you and your manuscript, meaning you return to it with a fresher perspective. After some time away to clear your head, you may begin to see some of the flaws for yourself and then it’s a case of working out how to fix them before resubmitting.
Distinguish between useful and useless criticism
Who rejected your manuscript, and how much is their opinion worth? If it was friends and family, then their criticism can really hurt but their opinions are probably less valuable in the grand scheme of things. Unless they’re also writers or editors, the critiques provided by your nearest and dearest are, in all likelihood, amateurish.
If your work was criticised or rejected by a professional agent or editor, then those opinions are the ones you need to take on board. Agents and editors read hundreds and hundreds of manuscripts, so they know what works and doesn’t work. Their criticism isn’t personal, it’s designed to be constructive and help you improve your writing. You might feel wounded to begin with, but you can learn from useful feedback.
Join a writing community
There are so many online forums and groups for writers that you can join, and I can guarantee that every writer in them will have experienced rejection. This is a great way to put your rejection into perspective and make you feel less alone, because rejection can feel like a very lonely experience.
Reading other people’s stories about rejection and how they bounced back really can help you rediscover your motivation and pick up your pen again. On the whole, online writing communities are very supportive and provide a space where you can express your feelings.
Rejection is not the end of the world, although it can feel like it at the time. Don’t shred your manuscript or call time on your writing career just because you’ve been turned down or had your work criticised.
Hard as it is when the wound is still raw, try and use this advice to pick yourself up and get back to writing. Grieve, learn from the experience and move on – that’s what every successful writer has had to do.
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